[HeartSong]

To weep over Christ is such an amazing moment. Pain filled, and it can leave you breathless as you look to the road ahead staring at you. It's scary and overwhelming but Peace meets you there, and Grace embraces your heart at the crossroad where you choose the road, and not the sandcastles. To desire to be more like Christ in such a deep way it makes you cry... this is brokenness...this is the foot of the cross.... this is a sweet, and painful place. You realize how far you have to go, you let out the deep wounds and aches in your heart before the One who wants to hear, who stays to listen. Walk with me to the crossroads....

Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes
to climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

OH what I wouldn't give!!! Yes, there are many things I want SO badly they make my heart ache deeply... love does that. But as I sat in this moment I truly wept through the words of this song... desiring more than anything else to have "that faith"... to "step out"... to take "His hand". I know that this is where it all begins. As I look at the tragedy in my life, the devastation of that which I love... as I embrace another blow to my already shattered heart today I cry to Him that I want "THAT FAITH" to move on in spite of "this and that". BUT I have to get out on those waves... and I know I can't do it! But oh isn't it like our enemy to take that moment and whisper to us...

BUT the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times i've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me time and time again.
"you can never win!"

My friend told me a few years ago that he thinks I'm like Peter. I jump out of the boat onto the waves, and then I look down. He knows me well. For I do this very thing. And as the words of this song poured from my speakers, the lies of satan poured as he sat in wait to devour this moment of recognition. That sweet moment where I cried out to Jesus and said I want to climb out of the boat!! And the waves started taunting me, telling me don't try. But I knew this wasn't the truth, I cried out for God...

The VOICE OF TRUTH tells me a different story tells me a different story
The VOICE of TRUTH tells me do not be afraid,
And the VOICE OF TRUTH this is for My glory!!
Out of ALL the voices calling out to me
I will CHOOSE to listen to the Voice of TRUTH

A choice laid before me... whose voice did I embrace? I look at the waves, and the pain is an ocean tossing me around and around. I'm so tired. But I hear His voice calling out and saying - "you're right...you can't My love, but I can... and I will... won't you join Me?"

Oh what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

And I want "that strength" to say YES. To be in this moment surrounded by what seems to be circumstances that could be my demise. Many warriors do not fight. They give up in despair. Or they turn and run in fear to anything that will distract them. The become prisoners of the war. And I stand making my choice but the giant taunts me.

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me time and time again. "you can never win!"

Reminders of all that is occurring flood my heart and pain whelms me like a flood... it takes my breath and I "stand" but I am shaking... staring at the sling in hand saying I can't Lord, I can't do this. Don't you see how big this Giant is?? God there is cancer in one I love deeply, I lost my job- i miss my job, I've been abandoned and misunderstood, love is not returned to me as I give, I long for friendship, I hurt over the places of those I love and I LONG Lord for you to restore and bring repentance, my family God is hurting... this giant --- he is BIG. Don't you see I'm going to get into this war and I'm going to get hurt?

But the VOICE OF TRUTH tells me a different story tells me a different story
The VOICE of TRUTH tells me do not be afraid,
And the VOICE OF TRUTH this is for My glory!!
Out of ALL the voices calling out to me
I will CHOOSE to listen to the Voice of TRUTH

No I didn't see this one coming. Suddenly it snuck up on me. But I have a choice. He asks me to vindicate my faith by works - trust & hope - and just getting up out of this chair and taking the next step in my day. Refusing the voices that tell me to give up and despair, to lay down and die. And CLINGING to the Voice that says it's for His glory... picking up the stone and taking the shot. Because He is BIGGER

But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them lookin' down

There will be more giants. The battle is won, but the war is not over. Circumstances didn't change in that moment: I can't cure cancer, convince anyone of my true heart, or win those back whom I love by any new perfected words. But...

I will soar with the wings of eagles
WHEN I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me