s.m (10:17:38 AM): when are u coming to vist i miss u
m.a (10:18:32 AM): i miss you too, so much.
m.a (10:18:43 AM): i hope soon.
s.m (10:19:08 AM): me to
i love them and boy do i miss them.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
[Missing]
s.m (10:17:38 AM): when are u coming to vist i miss u
m.a (10:18:32 AM): i miss you too, so much.
m.a (10:18:43 AM): i hope soon.
s.m (10:19:08 AM): me to
i love them and boy do i miss them.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
[Association]
if you're like me you associate items and smells with memories. the smell of my perfume as a teenager takes me back in front of the mirror getting ready for youth group. i still don't like ginger ale b/c it's what my mom gave me when i had the flu. i walk into a barn and smell that smell and i'm 12, saddling up my horse for a ride around the ring. "thumbprint cookies" take me back to being 5 in the kitchen looking at the back of my strawberry shortcake box at the recipe for cookies that let me not only let me stick my thumb right in the dough but also let me put jelly in the cookie! Redskins Superbowl memorbillia reminds me of being there waiting for "our" team to arrive back home after our 1992 Superbowl win over the Bills...and reminds me of that strange 'Indian' man who was only wearing pants and a lot of war paint in 23 degree weather...now i know what he was drinking from that odd shaped litlte silver bottle he was holding though! my 18th birthday, a first kiss, the date i bought my first car, the first time you saw the ocean, the first time you saw him/her, where i was on Sept 11th 2001, the first time i really skied (well...okay, sat) down a mountain, the first meal made in a new house. memories are created and if you're like me...associated with items, smells or refreshed by a picture.
i started thinking about memory association recently when i picked up my Portis Jersey off my floor where it had been all week and found myself crying. i can't look at it without crying, let alone think about wearing. a very sad memory is associated with that Jersey now. so it will hang in my closet, and i'll dust off my good ole Arrington one and sport it tomorrow during the game. sometimes associations are sad...reminders of a painful moment in your life. if it's a wound healed you look back with relief, if it's a wound still fresh the pang of pain is as if you're back in the moment.
hmmm
i started thinking about memory association recently when i picked up my Portis Jersey off my floor where it had been all week and found myself crying. i can't look at it without crying, let alone think about wearing. a very sad memory is associated with that Jersey now. so it will hang in my closet, and i'll dust off my good ole Arrington one and sport it tomorrow during the game. sometimes associations are sad...reminders of a painful moment in your life. if it's a wound healed you look back with relief, if it's a wound still fresh the pang of pain is as if you're back in the moment.
hmmm
Friday, October 28, 2005
[TrashBags]
you know the saying "couldn't find their way out of a paper bag"? you should ask my mom why i just found myself saying "couldn't find your way into a trash bag" a few moments ago.
for being one of the brighter bulbs in the box, trash bags seem to be her weak point. right mom? bet you wish you had a blog now!
for being one of the brighter bulbs in the box, trash bags seem to be her weak point. right mom? bet you wish you had a blog now!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
[Words]
I hope you all know by now that I speak from my heart and I write with the hope that you might learn something, be encouraged or exhorted. Lately I've been considering the subject of “words”. Words can bring joy, or crush. They can heal or wound. They can not be taken back, hurtful words hang in the air, loving words replay in our heads often…but then again, so do the hurtful ones. Our words and actions are our main tools to convey what is in our heart, what we're feeling or thinking. Do our words match our actions? Which is the real deal if they don't? What we ‘say' or what we ‘do'? Bottom line, words are important…so why don't we act like it?
Recently I used my words poorly and I hurt someone in a way I don't think I have before. I was hurt and I acted rashly with my words. And it wasn't even really intentional, but I didn't take the time to stop and examine what it was I was trying to say and think how I should say it. I walked away and I couldn't stop thinking about the power of words. The questions and statements I just made have rolled around in my head all week. So I decided to take a look at the subject. And here is what I found.
First I looked at how often ‘words' come up as a subject in various area. This will be a little lengthily but in the end I hope you find it useful and take the time to read on.
The world sees the importance of words. Have you ever thought about all the songs that talk about words:
“More than words ”, “It's only words , and words are all i have”, “If only words could explain”, “But I guess those were words , without meaning. You said I could trust you, you said all was fine, you said that you spoke the truth. But I guess those were words , without meaning”, “ Words don't come easy”, “Say the Words ”
We ourselves convey the weight of words with statements like:
“I'm at a loss for words ”, “In other words ”, “ Words fail me”, “There are no words ”, “Your words hurt”, “Thank you for your kind words ”, “Could I have a word ?”.
And God's Word most certainly speaks of words often…ours and Gods:
“Therefore encourage one another with these words .” 1 Thes. 4:18
“Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me.” 2 Timothy 1:13
“The words of the LORD are pure words , like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.” Psalm 12:6
(Remember, the number 7 is a symbol of perfection in the Bible. So our Lords words are perfect.)
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD.” Psalm 19:14
“Who whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words like arrows” Psalm 64:3
“I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in Your words .” Psalm 119:147
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24
So if ‘words' are so serious, if they are a main form of communication, if they are this powerful…why don't we choose ours more carefully? Why don't we use more caution? Why do we continue to use them to hurt others? I have come to a recent conclusion that we ought to be more aware of what our words are communicating to the hearer. When someone asks for help, even if we're not able at that moment to help we should graciously let them know we'd love to but can't. If someone is hurting we should use our words to bring healing to their heart. If someone is in sin we need to lovingly use our words to bring them back to Christ. We need to see our words as a vital tool, and skillfully use that tool for God's glory and our holiness.
Next, words are extremely important but let's not forget about actions. We need to make sure our words match our actions. The Bible says “out of the heart the mouth speaks” but let me throw something out there for you to chew on. There is such a thing as ‘hallow words'. You know the feeling you get when someone says something and the words sound empty or fake. Although the mouth can/does speak what's in the heart, I believe we often times try to reverse this thought and think it works. “If I say something it will become true in my heart.” Because we know out of the heart the mouth speaks it is not surprising we try to speak certain words in hope we can convince our hearts to be a different way. Hate to break it to you but not so much does this work. We can not live one way and say it's another way, or think words will negate our actions. Our actions can be a good indicator of something we're trying to run from, and we can be downright blind to these areas at times. Helpful hint, seek others and see what they see. And please be thoughtful, and prayerful, about who you seek to speak into your life. There are many things that can keep us from seeing our own actions and heart but that's a whole other article! We need to have a correct view of our actions though so we are sure that our words line up with them. It is extremely frustrating to have someone say one thing and do another. Again, which is the real deal? Words don't control our actions but they should line up with them.
Here's a word picture (there's another form of words!). You're standing looking at a plot of green grass. People have told you it's green, and encouraged you to embrace it as green. But you stand there and state firmly it's pink! You say it, scream it, try to convince those around you, tell the grass itself it's pink, you might even spray paint it pink. Is it pink?? Nope. It's still green. And at the first rain it will wash away that pink spray paint. Although, I do believe the world would be very interesting if all the grass was pink! But God must have known what's best ;)
Okay. So words are powerful. They hurt, heal, encourage, exhort. They, along with actions, are our main form of communication. Our words need to match our actions. We need to be honest about our actions. Words are vitally important. Take a moment and think…what do your words convey?
Do those at work know you're a believer. Do your words point people to Christ. Do you cringe at words from people that are unlovely or not pleasing to God?
Do you respond to people in love?
Do your words match your actions? Do you have an honest view of your actions?
This is a deep subject and words are powerful. I believe God makes it clear the importance of words, I believe we ‘know' how important they and our actions are. And I hope you take the time to ponder these questions, and look back through those verses, and examine your own life. Evaluate it before God with a heart to speak ‘pure words' as our Lord did. And although we can't take our words back, we can cover them with new loving ones. If you've hurt someone, or done a poor job using your words make today the day you change that. USE wherever you are to ask God to search your heart, soul and mind and seek His strength to accomplish whatever He shows you.
I'm going to leave you with one last thing. I love country music. I love music of all kinds but I'll leave you with a song that I think shows how powerful words are. I hope and pray you take these words in this article to heart and that GOD uses them in your life for His glory. It is all about Him.
Sherrié Austin, “ Words”
Words, they don't mean nothing
So tell me why they hurt so much
I meant to tell you something
It was on the tip of my tongue
Words rush by so quickly
And it's too late to take them back
I tried to say i'm sorry
And that goodbye was just an act
Words come back to haunt you
Yeah, they just keep hanging around
I still can hear the echo
I still can hear their angry sound
Words can say i love you
Oh, words can break a heart
But all my words got in the way
And all the things i meant to say
Were not the things you heard
Oh, why'd you have to go
And take me at my word
Recently I used my words poorly and I hurt someone in a way I don't think I have before. I was hurt and I acted rashly with my words. And it wasn't even really intentional, but I didn't take the time to stop and examine what it was I was trying to say and think how I should say it. I walked away and I couldn't stop thinking about the power of words. The questions and statements I just made have rolled around in my head all week. So I decided to take a look at the subject. And here is what I found.
First I looked at how often ‘words' come up as a subject in various area. This will be a little lengthily but in the end I hope you find it useful and take the time to read on.
The world sees the importance of words. Have you ever thought about all the songs that talk about words:
“More than words ”, “It's only words , and words are all i have”, “If only words could explain”, “But I guess those were words , without meaning. You said I could trust you, you said all was fine, you said that you spoke the truth. But I guess those were words , without meaning”, “ Words don't come easy”, “Say the Words ”
We ourselves convey the weight of words with statements like:
“I'm at a loss for words ”, “In other words ”, “ Words fail me”, “There are no words ”, “Your words hurt”, “Thank you for your kind words ”, “Could I have a word ?”.
And God's Word most certainly speaks of words often…ours and Gods:
“Therefore encourage one another with these words .” 1 Thes. 4:18
“Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me.” 2 Timothy 1:13
“The words of the LORD are pure words , like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.” Psalm 12:6
(Remember, the number 7 is a symbol of perfection in the Bible. So our Lords words are perfect.)
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD.” Psalm 19:14
“Who whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words like arrows” Psalm 64:3
“I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in Your words .” Psalm 119:147
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24
So if ‘words' are so serious, if they are a main form of communication, if they are this powerful…why don't we choose ours more carefully? Why don't we use more caution? Why do we continue to use them to hurt others? I have come to a recent conclusion that we ought to be more aware of what our words are communicating to the hearer. When someone asks for help, even if we're not able at that moment to help we should graciously let them know we'd love to but can't. If someone is hurting we should use our words to bring healing to their heart. If someone is in sin we need to lovingly use our words to bring them back to Christ. We need to see our words as a vital tool, and skillfully use that tool for God's glory and our holiness.
Next, words are extremely important but let's not forget about actions. We need to make sure our words match our actions. The Bible says “out of the heart the mouth speaks” but let me throw something out there for you to chew on. There is such a thing as ‘hallow words'. You know the feeling you get when someone says something and the words sound empty or fake. Although the mouth can/does speak what's in the heart, I believe we often times try to reverse this thought and think it works. “If I say something it will become true in my heart.” Because we know out of the heart the mouth speaks it is not surprising we try to speak certain words in hope we can convince our hearts to be a different way. Hate to break it to you but not so much does this work. We can not live one way and say it's another way, or think words will negate our actions. Our actions can be a good indicator of something we're trying to run from, and we can be downright blind to these areas at times. Helpful hint, seek others and see what they see. And please be thoughtful, and prayerful, about who you seek to speak into your life. There are many things that can keep us from seeing our own actions and heart but that's a whole other article! We need to have a correct view of our actions though so we are sure that our words line up with them. It is extremely frustrating to have someone say one thing and do another. Again, which is the real deal? Words don't control our actions but they should line up with them.
Here's a word picture (there's another form of words!). You're standing looking at a plot of green grass. People have told you it's green, and encouraged you to embrace it as green. But you stand there and state firmly it's pink! You say it, scream it, try to convince those around you, tell the grass itself it's pink, you might even spray paint it pink. Is it pink?? Nope. It's still green. And at the first rain it will wash away that pink spray paint. Although, I do believe the world would be very interesting if all the grass was pink! But God must have known what's best ;)
Okay. So words are powerful. They hurt, heal, encourage, exhort. They, along with actions, are our main form of communication. Our words need to match our actions. We need to be honest about our actions. Words are vitally important. Take a moment and think…what do your words convey?
Do those at work know you're a believer. Do your words point people to Christ. Do you cringe at words from people that are unlovely or not pleasing to God?
Do you respond to people in love?
Do your words match your actions? Do you have an honest view of your actions?
This is a deep subject and words are powerful. I believe God makes it clear the importance of words, I believe we ‘know' how important they and our actions are. And I hope you take the time to ponder these questions, and look back through those verses, and examine your own life. Evaluate it before God with a heart to speak ‘pure words' as our Lord did. And although we can't take our words back, we can cover them with new loving ones. If you've hurt someone, or done a poor job using your words make today the day you change that. USE wherever you are to ask God to search your heart, soul and mind and seek His strength to accomplish whatever He shows you.
I'm going to leave you with one last thing. I love country music. I love music of all kinds but I'll leave you with a song that I think shows how powerful words are. I hope and pray you take these words in this article to heart and that GOD uses them in your life for His glory. It is all about Him.
Sherrié Austin, “ Words”
Words, they don't mean nothing
So tell me why they hurt so much
I meant to tell you something
It was on the tip of my tongue
Words rush by so quickly
And it's too late to take them back
I tried to say i'm sorry
And that goodbye was just an act
Words come back to haunt you
Yeah, they just keep hanging around
I still can hear the echo
I still can hear their angry sound
Words can say i love you
Oh, words can break a heart
But all my words got in the way
And all the things i meant to say
Were not the things you heard
Oh, why'd you have to go
And take me at my word
Monday, October 24, 2005
[Simple]
one foot in front of the other
breathe in
breathe out
one of those days
have to
remember to
breathe in
breathe out
force the next step
i'm tired
from trying
to remember
just to
breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
one of those days
have to
remember to
breathe in
breathe out
force the next step
i'm tired
from trying
to remember
just to
breathe in
breathe out
[RunningShoes]
i have a pair of running shoes. i love these shoes, they're white and orange and just looking at them makes me want to run. i haven't run in a while but am going to the gym right after work tomorrow, or maybe during. i'm not much of a high endurance runner but i've come to enjoy it, and at times like this moment in life, even need it.
i have another pair of running shoes. these you can not see but they are well worn. they've been down many trails and are so comfortable, they fit perfectly when they're on. i wear them less then i used to, so when i take them for a spin you know it's business. usually i search for them, crave the run, but tonight i wish i couldn't find them. this is new to me. although there are many times i so wish i couldn't find those sporty orange and white ones, rarely do i know i need to take these shoes for a spin and not want to. i imagine them to be white and blue, and perhaps i knew this run was coming because tonight they have new laces on them. but i don't want to take this run on so many levels. but i 'feel' like there is someone cheering me because they want the results of where this run will take me and nothing will get me there but this run. so run i must. run i will. i wonder if.......
i have another pair of running shoes. these you can not see but they are well worn. they've been down many trails and are so comfortable, they fit perfectly when they're on. i wear them less then i used to, so when i take them for a spin you know it's business. usually i search for them, crave the run, but tonight i wish i couldn't find them. this is new to me. although there are many times i so wish i couldn't find those sporty orange and white ones, rarely do i know i need to take these shoes for a spin and not want to. i imagine them to be white and blue, and perhaps i knew this run was coming because tonight they have new laces on them. but i don't want to take this run on so many levels. but i 'feel' like there is someone cheering me because they want the results of where this run will take me and nothing will get me there but this run. so run i must. run i will. i wonder if.......
Saturday, October 22, 2005
[Learning]
i watched my friends baby last night. i love their son...i call him my little spaz. he'll lay there so sweetly and then all of a sudden he turns into Jackie Chan, doing these little kicks and karate swipes in the air. it's precious. so when they asked, or maybe i was begging, for me to watch him i gladly said yes. there is something about children, and especially babies, that is food for the soul. spending time with them, watching them, caring for them...it does more for your heart then anything else. and i needed a little of this kind of recharging after my week but little did i know what my night would hold.it started normal, i arrived with a friend of mine who was accompanying me for my date with my little spaz and i received my marching orders from mom & dad. they left and off we were. playing, feeding, sleeping...i think i can handle this. and up until 10PM that was how it went. my girlfriend and i sat and talked while staring at this gorgeous baby, doing his best karate routine on the floor for us, cooing and smiling. then it was nap time, then feeding, then time for another nap...only this one was on me :) he fell asleep and i didn't have the heart to put him down, nor did i want to, nor did i sense i should. so he slept until 10PM as i alluded to where he lifted his little, perfect head looked at me and threw up about an ounce of formula much to my surprise. he'd already dowsed me twice so although it was a little startling i took it in stride. after cleaning us both up he went quickly back to sleep, to again in 4 minutes repeat this pattern...and again...and again...and, you get the hint. the formula he had eaten at his last meal did not agree with my little spaz. for the next 40 minutes my friend and i sat with this small, helpless 10 week old as his body ridded itself of the unwanted formula. there was nothing we could do but comfort him and keep him as clean as possible. once it was all out, and his body was sure it was all gone, he fell asleep completely exhausted in my arms.
he never cried once. he never flipped out. he's an amazing child. i changed him and put his little PJ's on and then just held him once it had all past. I could do nothing else, and the thought of having him more then one foot from me was more then i could bear. he had been through so much and i just wanted to love on him.i talked to 'mom' about an hour later and let her know the situation. no rush to get home was needed, it had past and he was sleeping. but i could hear her mothers heart break at the thought of her son's night. i felt terrible but was so thankful it was over and he was fine.multiple things stood out to me. as i looked back i was thankful i hadn't put him in bed when he fell asleep, the thought of him up there in that mess was horrifying. i'm thankful we gave him the formula at the first feeding and not the 2nd; if we'd waited until the second and put him straight to bed as was routine, again he would have gone through that in his crib until i realized it and again, the thought is horrific. but God was sovereign and had us handle things exactly as we did so we'd be there when he needed us.
i walked away and thought about my life. how similar it is when things enter my little world, some as with this small 10 week old, are completely beyond our control. they are meant to reveal something in us, rid us of something, try us. when this ordeal tried baby spaz his temperament shone thru. he never wailed, never made it difficult, never flailed around although you had to know he was miserable. he just road out the storm, trusting us to care for him and get him safely through. yet when i am tried how quietly do i ride out my storms? do i wail and bemoan my situation. cry out to make sure people see i'm in pain. try to gain something from it, like attention or pity, at the least? or do i quietly wait it out, knowing the caring arms of my Lord will see me safely thru. i could hope for the latter, but often times i fall miserable short of such courage.
pain
fear
doubt
confusion
aching
they all might come. they might ravage me as that formula did a small child last night. but i too have the choice to battle my storms with childlike faith and trust. the choice is mine. last night i went to bless my friends and spend some quality time with their son. and that small 10 week old taught me a most valuable lesson when all was said and done. i got an in the face view of childlike faith last night, something i too should exibit.
he never cried once. he never flipped out. he's an amazing child. i changed him and put his little PJ's on and then just held him once it had all past. I could do nothing else, and the thought of having him more then one foot from me was more then i could bear. he had been through so much and i just wanted to love on him.i talked to 'mom' about an hour later and let her know the situation. no rush to get home was needed, it had past and he was sleeping. but i could hear her mothers heart break at the thought of her son's night. i felt terrible but was so thankful it was over and he was fine.multiple things stood out to me. as i looked back i was thankful i hadn't put him in bed when he fell asleep, the thought of him up there in that mess was horrifying. i'm thankful we gave him the formula at the first feeding and not the 2nd; if we'd waited until the second and put him straight to bed as was routine, again he would have gone through that in his crib until i realized it and again, the thought is horrific. but God was sovereign and had us handle things exactly as we did so we'd be there when he needed us.
i walked away and thought about my life. how similar it is when things enter my little world, some as with this small 10 week old, are completely beyond our control. they are meant to reveal something in us, rid us of something, try us. when this ordeal tried baby spaz his temperament shone thru. he never wailed, never made it difficult, never flailed around although you had to know he was miserable. he just road out the storm, trusting us to care for him and get him safely through. yet when i am tried how quietly do i ride out my storms? do i wail and bemoan my situation. cry out to make sure people see i'm in pain. try to gain something from it, like attention or pity, at the least? or do i quietly wait it out, knowing the caring arms of my Lord will see me safely thru. i could hope for the latter, but often times i fall miserable short of such courage.
pain
fear
doubt
confusion
aching
they all might come. they might ravage me as that formula did a small child last night. but i too have the choice to battle my storms with childlike faith and trust. the choice is mine. last night i went to bless my friends and spend some quality time with their son. and that small 10 week old taught me a most valuable lesson when all was said and done. i got an in the face view of childlike faith last night, something i too should exibit.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
[Praying]
I've noticed people now say "i prayed about it" whenever they are trying to back their point or decision. You can stand there and say to yourself, "how on earth did you pray about that and get THAT answer? " but what can you truly say? Argue whether they hear from God? I think people lean too heavily on the concept of "peace". "I prayed and I have a peace about it." They mistake desire to do something as peace from God...I still thought it was the right decision after I prayed. But your desire staying strong isn't God answering or directing you. Perhaps your desire to 'do something' or make 'a change' is actually coming out of fear or self-centeredness. Someone might truly 'pray' to God but what is it they 'hear' that makes them think God has spoken? This is still in it's early stages of thought. It seems when someone throws this card on the table they are shutting you down. There is no way at that point you can say "i'm not sure this is the right decision". Argue with God will you?!?
Perhaps when people are throwing out that card they know they've made a decision out of fear, or an unwise choice and they don't want you to challenge them. They just want what they want...even if it hurts someone else, or themselves.
Perhaps when people are throwing out that card they know they've made a decision out of fear, or an unwise choice and they don't want you to challenge them. They just want what they want...even if it hurts someone else, or themselves.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
[Relational]
I wrote this months ago for a newsletter but stumbled accross it this morning and thought i'd share it...
Relational By Nature
[july.18.2005]
This past weekend I was incredibly blessed to get away to a river house with some of my closest friends and I found myself pondering many things while away. The entire weekend was a huge blessing to me as I am extremely relational and enjoy time with friends and those I care about. But as I thought about this weekend I pondered why it was such a great time...was it the fun... the location... the activities?? No, it was the people. It was the girls sitting out on the deck yesterday morning, coffee in hand, talking about the things the Lord is doing in our lives. It was the time on the boat where we were free to be ourselves, learn new things, relax and laugh together. It was friends putting aside all the million things we all probably "needed" to get done during the weekend to get away and spend time together. It was the heart of a friend willing to spend his weekend making ours fun. It was the boys on the dock hanging out while the girls cooked in the kitchen, talking about who we are becoming in Christ as His daughters. That is what made it special, that is what made it memorable, that is what impacted me.
I read in one of my favorite books that there are "individuals living quiet, lonely lives infected by their fear of rejection and their memories of the last time they tried. They choose not to be touched at all rather than risk being hurt again." I think we all have the possibility of becoming like this but it is not how God made us...this is not His desire. He desires us to love one another...even when it's a risk; care for one another... even when it's inconvenient; challenge one another...even when it's hard; and reach out for help...even when we're afraid. So I challenge you. How do you spend your time? Are you so wrapped up in work and all the "must do's" that you are missing the quality of life that God's desires to give us. And know it's not just time "with" people but how you spend that time. Sharing what I'm learning in my walk with God and hearing where my friends are is amazing. Being real with one another about struggles, failings and fears and exhorting one another to press hard into Jesus is life changing. These are the moments life should be made of...I mean isn't this exactly what God calls us to do (1 Thes 5:11)? So why is it we don't? Spending time with those He's placed in our lives in true community can be the most recharging thing we can do with our time.
Life is most certainly not always easy. God's word tells us we'll have to strive, run, endure and persevere (Rom 12:12; 1 Pet 2:20) but we don't have to do it alone. Not only is our Savior walking the road with us, He is placing individuals along our path to also walk with us, fight with us and fight for us. I know I for one am thankful for each of the people I spent my weekend with (and those who couldn't make it) and the unique place each of them holds in my life. I am thankful I took the risk with them...and am thankful they took the risk with me.
Relational By Nature
[july.18.2005]
This past weekend I was incredibly blessed to get away to a river house with some of my closest friends and I found myself pondering many things while away. The entire weekend was a huge blessing to me as I am extremely relational and enjoy time with friends and those I care about. But as I thought about this weekend I pondered why it was such a great time...was it the fun... the location... the activities?? No, it was the people. It was the girls sitting out on the deck yesterday morning, coffee in hand, talking about the things the Lord is doing in our lives. It was the time on the boat where we were free to be ourselves, learn new things, relax and laugh together. It was friends putting aside all the million things we all probably "needed" to get done during the weekend to get away and spend time together. It was the heart of a friend willing to spend his weekend making ours fun. It was the boys on the dock hanging out while the girls cooked in the kitchen, talking about who we are becoming in Christ as His daughters. That is what made it special, that is what made it memorable, that is what impacted me.
I read in one of my favorite books that there are "individuals living quiet, lonely lives infected by their fear of rejection and their memories of the last time they tried. They choose not to be touched at all rather than risk being hurt again." I think we all have the possibility of becoming like this but it is not how God made us...this is not His desire. He desires us to love one another...even when it's a risk; care for one another... even when it's inconvenient; challenge one another...even when it's hard; and reach out for help...even when we're afraid. So I challenge you. How do you spend your time? Are you so wrapped up in work and all the "must do's" that you are missing the quality of life that God's desires to give us. And know it's not just time "with" people but how you spend that time. Sharing what I'm learning in my walk with God and hearing where my friends are is amazing. Being real with one another about struggles, failings and fears and exhorting one another to press hard into Jesus is life changing. These are the moments life should be made of...I mean isn't this exactly what God calls us to do (1 Thes 5:11)? So why is it we don't? Spending time with those He's placed in our lives in true community can be the most recharging thing we can do with our time.
Life is most certainly not always easy. God's word tells us we'll have to strive, run, endure and persevere (Rom 12:12; 1 Pet 2:20) but we don't have to do it alone. Not only is our Savior walking the road with us, He is placing individuals along our path to also walk with us, fight with us and fight for us. I know I for one am thankful for each of the people I spent my weekend with (and those who couldn't make it) and the unique place each of them holds in my life. I am thankful I took the risk with them...and am thankful they took the risk with me.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
[Growing]
I can’t sleep. Story of my life these past few weeks huh? It’s a natural bent to an artist anyway…creative juices flow at night…but it’s been worse lately. So I figured, while sitting here staring at this laptop I’d share something on my mind.
Have you looked recently at your life to see how far God has brought you? I was just thinking about the last year and looking at all the growth in the lives of my friends. And to personally just look at my life over the last years and see how much God has grown me in Him, and just plain grown me up is almost unreal! This has been on my mind a lot b/c (bear with me here) I was sitting in my Aunt and Uncles house this weekend and Gabe (our 9 yr old) came and climbed up in my lap and was just snuggling with me. As I sat with him, falling asleep, I really looked at him and realized how the time has flown…I can’t believe he’s 9…I remember him learning to walk. Well, the next thing I knew Jeremy was flying through the house, stopping to hug me as he went to a friend’s house…and I found myself looking into the eyes of a young man. As I looked at him it really hit me hard that he’s growing up. Jeremy has had my heart since the first moment I laid eyes on him 14 years ago and we’ve always had this special bond. I looked at my Uncle (thru ‘wet eyes’) and told him I couldn’t believe how old the boys were…and he looked at me and asked me if I’d looked in a mirror lately. Uncle Tim has always been like my dad and he sat there with me and reminded me I’d just come from work where I’d spoke in front of the entire church…he reminded me of many areas he’s watched me grow over the last year, and even past few months. And I’ve been thinking ever since.
Take a sec and look back at your life. There are some sad moments at times as we look back…letting go of our childhood and growing up wasn’t easy…letting go of carefree college years wasn’t easy…but looking at where we are should be exciting. It’s been good to reminisce a little…I don’t want to go back (and I hope you don’t either), even though I cherish the memories, but I want to move forward and see what’s next.
I’ve realized sometimes God makes us wait for “what’s next”...sometimes He calls us to leap in faith. But looking forward is the key.
Have you looked recently at your life to see how far God has brought you? I was just thinking about the last year and looking at all the growth in the lives of my friends. And to personally just look at my life over the last years and see how much God has grown me in Him, and just plain grown me up is almost unreal! This has been on my mind a lot b/c (bear with me here) I was sitting in my Aunt and Uncles house this weekend and Gabe (our 9 yr old) came and climbed up in my lap and was just snuggling with me. As I sat with him, falling asleep, I really looked at him and realized how the time has flown…I can’t believe he’s 9…I remember him learning to walk. Well, the next thing I knew Jeremy was flying through the house, stopping to hug me as he went to a friend’s house…and I found myself looking into the eyes of a young man. As I looked at him it really hit me hard that he’s growing up. Jeremy has had my heart since the first moment I laid eyes on him 14 years ago and we’ve always had this special bond. I looked at my Uncle (thru ‘wet eyes’) and told him I couldn’t believe how old the boys were…and he looked at me and asked me if I’d looked in a mirror lately. Uncle Tim has always been like my dad and he sat there with me and reminded me I’d just come from work where I’d spoke in front of the entire church…he reminded me of many areas he’s watched me grow over the last year, and even past few months. And I’ve been thinking ever since.
Take a sec and look back at your life. There are some sad moments at times as we look back…letting go of our childhood and growing up wasn’t easy…letting go of carefree college years wasn’t easy…but looking at where we are should be exciting. It’s been good to reminisce a little…I don’t want to go back (and I hope you don’t either), even though I cherish the memories, but I want to move forward and see what’s next.
I’ve realized sometimes God makes us wait for “what’s next”...sometimes He calls us to leap in faith. But looking forward is the key.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
[Vision]
[Here is an article I wrote for our church newsletter]
WHAT DO YOU SEE
A person once gave an illustration that I'll try to put into words . Picture a person with their hand over their face trying to walk around. Their vision is obstructed and they can't clearly see where they're going. Yet many people come up to this individual and give them speeches on correct vision and what it is like to see clearly. These people talk about how glasses can correct vision. They talk about how the eyes work but the person still has obstructed vision. You see, although these people may mean well they aren't really helping this person remove the obstruction that is blocking their vision, they're just talking about clear vision. So often times in life we have an obstruction in our vision that is affecting the way we are acting and the direction we are taking. We might try to fix ‘external things' or listen to sermons on clarity. We may completely deny we have an obstruction because we are afraid to see things as they really are or maybe we're just comfortable with our obstruction and current view of life. But the bottom line is we're going to wander around, bumping into things, until we realize what that thing is obstructing our vision and work to remove it.
So let's ask a few questions. Is the obstruction fear? Is it a focus on self? Is it an idol? Do you realize that an idol is ANYTHING that takes the functional place of God in our lives? We may have a ‘professed' God but it's our functional god that is actually ruling us…the hand over our face. What is it that is obstructing our vision and our God ordained purpose? “Why” questions are always good to ask as they should reveal the sin so we can search out God's answer. It might look something like this: we know there is “a hand” over our faces and we begin to try to figure out what the obstruction is and ask:
• “Why” am I afraid of seeing this situation/life as it is? Why am I constantly denying the truth? Perhaps I don't trust God. Perhaps my faith is weak. Perhaps I'm afraid. Start there and confess your fear to God and ask HIM to guide you. Tell Him you “know that He can do all things and no purpose of His will be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)
• “Why” am I clinging to this obstruction in my vision? Perhaps I'm allowing a functional god to rule my heart and life such as work, reputation, or success. Perhaps I profess the one true God but live for another god. Remember the sin is not in loving something, but that we love it too much. It is not wrong to love someone, a job, a pursuit or passion. But it is wrong to love anyone or anything more than God. Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you. (Matt 6:33)
• “Why” am I behaving this (fill in the blank) way? What don't I believe about God?
God does not want us to walk around with “a hand over our face”. He wants to change our heart but that is the key…changing our heart. We many times work on behavior (fruit) and ignore the heart issues (root) like fear, anxiety, self centeredness, ect. If you ask God to search your heart, and seek to make a lasting change, it will affect your behavior and you will find the hand comes down and you can see clearly. Now this is hard. For me lately I have had to ask God “why” am I reacting the way I am to certain life issues?? I asked those around me to begin praying for me and some of my friends exhorted and challenged me concerning their insights into it. The result? Our always faithful God has been teaching and speaking to me about living for the approval of man (people), or in fear of 'man', and reminding me to only live for God's approval… because anything else is a functional god. And although it's hard when someone accuses you of something, or is unsupportive, or walks away, GOD doesn't walk away and right now, in the good times or bad, HE is on the throne. This is the truth I must root my heart in so my behavior (fruit) is producing patience, trust, faith and hope…not fear, running, despair or worry. With my heart rooted in this I see clearly…as soon as I begin to fear and despair that hand creeps upward. Now this is me…where are you?
WHAT DO YOU SEE
A person once gave an illustration that I'll try to put into words . Picture a person with their hand over their face trying to walk around. Their vision is obstructed and they can't clearly see where they're going. Yet many people come up to this individual and give them speeches on correct vision and what it is like to see clearly. These people talk about how glasses can correct vision. They talk about how the eyes work but the person still has obstructed vision. You see, although these people may mean well they aren't really helping this person remove the obstruction that is blocking their vision, they're just talking about clear vision. So often times in life we have an obstruction in our vision that is affecting the way we are acting and the direction we are taking. We might try to fix ‘external things' or listen to sermons on clarity. We may completely deny we have an obstruction because we are afraid to see things as they really are or maybe we're just comfortable with our obstruction and current view of life. But the bottom line is we're going to wander around, bumping into things, until we realize what that thing is obstructing our vision and work to remove it.
So let's ask a few questions. Is the obstruction fear? Is it a focus on self? Is it an idol? Do you realize that an idol is ANYTHING that takes the functional place of God in our lives? We may have a ‘professed' God but it's our functional god that is actually ruling us…the hand over our face. What is it that is obstructing our vision and our God ordained purpose? “Why” questions are always good to ask as they should reveal the sin so we can search out God's answer. It might look something like this: we know there is “a hand” over our faces and we begin to try to figure out what the obstruction is and ask:
• “Why” am I afraid of seeing this situation/life as it is? Why am I constantly denying the truth? Perhaps I don't trust God. Perhaps my faith is weak. Perhaps I'm afraid. Start there and confess your fear to God and ask HIM to guide you. Tell Him you “know that He can do all things and no purpose of His will be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)
• “Why” am I clinging to this obstruction in my vision? Perhaps I'm allowing a functional god to rule my heart and life such as work, reputation, or success. Perhaps I profess the one true God but live for another god. Remember the sin is not in loving something, but that we love it too much. It is not wrong to love someone, a job, a pursuit or passion. But it is wrong to love anyone or anything more than God. Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you. (Matt 6:33)
• “Why” am I behaving this (fill in the blank) way? What don't I believe about God?
God does not want us to walk around with “a hand over our face”. He wants to change our heart but that is the key…changing our heart. We many times work on behavior (fruit) and ignore the heart issues (root) like fear, anxiety, self centeredness, ect. If you ask God to search your heart, and seek to make a lasting change, it will affect your behavior and you will find the hand comes down and you can see clearly. Now this is hard. For me lately I have had to ask God “why” am I reacting the way I am to certain life issues?? I asked those around me to begin praying for me and some of my friends exhorted and challenged me concerning their insights into it. The result? Our always faithful God has been teaching and speaking to me about living for the approval of man (people), or in fear of 'man', and reminding me to only live for God's approval… because anything else is a functional god. And although it's hard when someone accuses you of something, or is unsupportive, or walks away, GOD doesn't walk away and right now, in the good times or bad, HE is on the throne. This is the truth I must root my heart in so my behavior (fruit) is producing patience, trust, faith and hope…not fear, running, despair or worry. With my heart rooted in this I see clearly…as soon as I begin to fear and despair that hand creeps upward. Now this is me…where are you?
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