[DesiringGod06]

I went away with some dear friends to a conference in MN this past weekend.... and it was an a-mazing time! I knew it was going to be incredible during this moment early in the first session where the band started the first song and all of a sudden over 3500 voices filled the room in worship of the King!! Yeah, tears rolled.... and the weekend was off. I found myself in that same moment missing a friend so deeply I wept, not just b/c they weren't there with us, but b/c they weren't even able to enter into that moment had they been there. This broke my heart but I gave them to God, and the rest of my time there... both I hope God will use for His glory!

We learned about Sovereignty in the Postmodern world and I highly recommend listening to the messages online! They are so deep and rich and full of truth. I will share more on all I learned but want to recommend the messages here before I forget...

[Beach06]

Yes, another trip!! But don't you worry, this isn't the last. But this one was quite different. It was just me and my mom....which I love...but I didn't get to go away with all my friends like I did last year so it's kinda sad too. Last year we all traveled to the beach and although I think we learned a lot about how to make it more fun, and better the next time, no one gave it that chance. We've done lots of little adventures in smaller crowds...some of us in crowds they don't belong at all which makes it hard, and jealousy/frustration come to the surface...but nothing alllll together.
So as I went away it was sweet to get away with my mom but I missed my friends. I guess I was running away too. Things are SO different this year, people are more distance, some off the radar to many all together. We're all spread out and it was my birthday week. The greatest gift I would have wanted was time with my friends, but I was too scared to stick around and find out if that would happen or not...I was afraid to see people not make time for me, and compare myself to other things they make time for, and get crushed. So I ran away.
But if you're gonna run....what better place to run to then the beach. I even had a nice surprise and two friends came to see me on Monday!! (yet, if i can confess....they remind me of something i don't have so it's bitter sweet....i'm SO glad they came but there was this missing piece to it all that tore at me). I had a blast with them...we laughed and talked, went out to dinner and took lots of pictures! The rest of the week I spent just relaxing with my mom...reading and thinking. There is something amazing about the beach...God speaks to me so much there. His power and mystery ever present to me as I look at the ocean and it's crashing waves. His great design as I look across the beach and how the water only comes so far. The sun beating down on me is one of my favorites...i'm always cold so i love the feeling of the heat on my skin. It's a wonderful experience for me and I'm so glad I got away again.
Our trip started out visiting my uncle's church which was amazing....having lunch with his family, then traveling to my other uncles to stay the night on the way to the beach. I love my family soooo much. I just wish I had someone to share my amazing family with...

Slidell:: The journey ends

It was a wonderful trip.
God's power
joy
love
bonding
experiences
learning
new people
hearts
healing
hurting
hoping
growing
changing

I'll never be the same. I love the 19 other people I went with so much. Every minute was incredible. I learned amazing skills too...i love power tools and i LOVE miter saws!! The people in LA taught me more then words can express. You have to go to know it. I have 2700 pictures, memories to last a lifetime and a plan to go back...next fall...i will go back.

I'm having a hard time adjusting back into life where i live. I react differently, see things differently, have a bigger view of God's power and sovereignty, a new sense of true joy, a longing for hope and so few understand...19 others to be exact. I sit in my house and it doesn't feel like home right now. I just want to go back. I felt like I was really making a difference, helping change take place. I was able to share with people who were thirsty for God. I was poured into by the most amazing individuals who truly live "comfort those with the comfort that you have received". I know i'll get back to life...though i'll be so different...but today isn't that day.

Slidell:: A continuing journey

This week has flown by. We've stayed so busy and I can't believe we're wrapping it up. I've begun to wonder what it will be like to get back "home" although this place and these people have become home to me this week. On a lighter note...i've added nail gun and miter saw to my list of favorite tools! I now can do base boards and quarter round!! Oh how fun it is to learn all this. I came here to bring relief to these people and am walking away with new skills, new insights, new friends and depth to existing relationships and a fresh view of God's great power. Again, i'm in awe. But I do love these power tools!! Being the only girl back at the miter saw with all the guys is so fun and i love making people laugh which i certainly am. As one guy said "only you would be behind a miter saw wearing a pink tank top that says I Need A Hug". Yeppers, that's meeee. These guys are amazing to take the time to teach all of us their knowledge and skills...i'm so thankful and having SO MUCH FUN. How cool is it that i can put up a walll, mud the wall, paint the wall and finish it with base boards?? I'll tell you....wayyyyyy cool! And to see this houses coming together is awesome. We've finished the first house and it got painted Friday and the second house is so close to being livable...just some kitchen and bathroom work to be done. Although, it is already being lived in we found out and i must say, this story impacted me most this week. I'll write about Steven in a separate post...he deserves you full attention. Before we left we visited the 9th Ward and it's heart breaking. As we drove over the bridge into the community the conversations in the van just began to trail off. It's a shock to your system to see houses 100 yards from their foundation, houses on cars or on fences, houses all smashed together, houses blocking roads. The other van pulled up next to us at one point as we were driving through the community and said "we'll just go take a right on that street and catch up with you all" and our driver said "sorry man, you can't.....there are houses blocking that road". When have you ever said that? Imagine SEEING that. People standing in front of piles of rubble that used to be houses looking for anything to salvage before they're bulldozed. It'll kick you in the gut. As we drove off i could do nothing else but marvel at God's power once again (How Great Is Our God). Houses up and moved like that, the power of that storm...and it's a drop in the bucket of His power. It'll change you, it can do nothing else but that. I can feel it now. I've wondered if i'd feel different coming home, i mean you always feel different after a missions trip but everyone is saying this is powerful beyond anything else. And i couldn't agree more. On our way out we traveled back into New Orleans (around the corner from the 9th ward) to walk around now that Mardi Gras is over. And i have to say...we didn't quite mean to end up on Bourbon Street but did to get where we were going for lunch and as my friend said "it's just a joke". Seriously it's vile. I had to keep saying to the guys around me: "look to the right, look down, look at me just look at me"...they couldn't look anywhere without seeing vile images in the windows. It smelled like stale beer and throw up. It's just a place where people use it as an excuse to act as immoral as they can. And it's so sad. I was so impressed by the men in my group though...never a fight as we told them to look down or not look at certain places...in fact they were asking to get off the street as quickly as possible b/c it was "making them sick". I love these guys. NOW...outside this, New Orleans is beautiful. People who say they 'hate new orleans' because of Bourbon Street must also hate DC b/c of it's filth and every other city like it. Because the bottom line is it is a beautiful city, with beautiful structures and wonderful traditions. We ate at Cafe De Monde and had Cafe Ole and Beignets. We walked around their cite and saw the sites, the musicians on every corner, the guy playing electric guitar with his hands, and bass with his feet!! The horse and carriages everywhere...the soft sound of hooves clicking around you. The rhythm of music filling the air. It was almost 80 and sunny and a wonderful way to end our trip. We ate in a little shop where all the workers lost their homes but they were just enjoying meeting the new people that came into their shop and working hard so they could rebuild. What a pleasure to meet these people. And what's awesome...they see the churches making a difference. They aren't shocked when you tell them you're a ministry team there, they meet them all the time and are forever grateful. That's God's body working.

Slidell:: Team "Get 'er Done"

This continues to be one of the most memorable experiences of my life. I have begun to gush about the experiences, people, sites, jobs, conversations, bonding, worship....everything.
Tuesday night we had a bonfire and sat around it having a time of devotion and worship. Our theme song has become "How Great Is Our God". You can do nothing else as you look around at what this storm did and see how great God's power is, and you can do nothing else as you look around and see God's healing hand and say how great is our God.
Our team is bonding so beautifully. We gather each AM for a time of devotion and each evening for a time of worship, sharing and then usually games. The conversations you see taking place all around during the day at the job sites or in the evenings as we do dishes and make lunches....it's awesome. The jokes that have begun...the air is filling with laughter and joy. We are journeying together and God is the center. Old friends, new friends, deeper friendships, friendships beginning...it's everywhere. And i'm learning what leading really feels like when you're supported. These people all jump in and help. They step up where they are gifted whether it's serving by making lunches or doing dishes, whether it's helping with directions so we can travel from site to site and into different towns, whether it's as skilled carpenters leading and teaching their teams, whether it's organized the job sites, whether it's leading times of worship, it's incredible. I've never had a team like this that i've led...never. They are amazing...i'll say it again...there are no words to truly express it.
I had to take four of the girls to the airport Wednesday night who could only stay half week. The sadness on this team to send them home was great but I found such joy in that. It means we're really loving each other, bonding, sharing on a deep level and it's therefore sad to send these girls home. You learn to find the 'good' in all things being down here...it's what these people teach not by their words but by their every action. I'm not sure i would have seen the girls leaving in this light, found the good side of it before. I might have just sulked, cried and asked God why they couldn't stay the whole time...but instead i've found joy in the time they were here and great blessing in the fact my team is so sad to see them go. God is moving, God is working.
On the way to the airport i saw more devastation though. I traveled over to Mississippi where they aren't getting the same attention as LA/New Orleans. It was sad to see towns that are even less 'cleaned up' and attended to then where we are. It throws me at God's throne crying out to Him for the hearts of these people. Oh that they may find Him through and in this storm.

Slidell:: There are no words to truly convey it

There are no words. I will try but no words can convey the experience we are all having. There are 20 of us here from our church, from mine and my co-leaders ministry mostly, and these people are amazing. I couldn't have hoped or prayed for a better team of people to go with me. We dove right in Monday AM and began construction on a home that has been gutted and is pretty much 2x4s. We have teamed with a contracting company, the owners attend our church and again or ministry, and they are overseeing much of the work. It's amazing to learn all these skills...insulation, dry walling and mudding so far. I've decided i LOVE power tools...staple guns and drills are very sweet.
We've begun meeting the people of these towns and they are simply amazing. They've gone through this horrific, tragic storm and still they smile. They welcome you to their homes, what's left of them, and shower you with love as you work to rebuild a place that holds so many memories for them. Yes, they've lost countless possessions but this place, the people here, are home for them. And we're experiencing community on a whole new level. Northern Virginia is so transient and i've become used to the attitudes that accompany this lifestyle. Being here is a realization that these people have true homes because of the people there, the memories they've made, the towns they love...and they WANT to stay, to rebuild. It's amazing and you can't understand it until you experience it.
It's exhausting work but the blessing of the people here is overwhelming. Not to mention the people here at the church (FBC). They're incredible...going above and beyond to love us and welcome us. I feel like saying...make me sleep on concrete, feed me stale bread, don't let me shower....it's too much all the touches they've added here to make it "easier" on us. Again, THEY are thinking about US...they've lost homes and the normal routine of their lives has completely changed yet, they are focused on us being here. It's too much. One guy who heads up the job sites lost his entire home, all that is left is a slab. I knew his story prior to coming yet he hasn't mentioned it one time...no call for sympathy, he's too busy helping get this community rebuilt. I'm in awe.
We also attended an AM Mardi Gras parade. I took the team to a morning parade to stay away from the bad stuff as much as possible. One misconception is that Mardi Gras is filthy everywhere, and it's not. Yes, sin corrupts things and it has corrupted a lot of Mari Gras but there are parades, and costumes, and fun and so much more to it. It was interesting to see people drinking at 9:30AM!! But beyond that it was a clean parade...and so fun. The people at the church actually insisted we take the morning off to go...they wanted us to see "life" here in LA, they wanted us to see joy, and community, and laughter. They wanted us to focus on something beyond the destruction and chaos and heartache. So we did, and we were so blessed. It was a great fun activity for our team and a Mardi Gras like none other...the people in costumes made out of the "blue roof tarps", levee inspectors, etc. I don't encourage people to participate in Mardi Gras without careful research as to where and when to go...but after doing that ourselves we once again found a community celebrating and determined to move forward after the hurricane.

Slidell:: It Begins

Well, after a 20 hour drive, two stops at Cracker Barrel (in 8 hours), a lot of singing, some hyper moments and a lot of sharing we arrived in Slidell, LA at about 10AM on Sunday morning. We decided to stay as quiet as possible and go to the church (where we were staying) to leave one of our vans and head down to New Orleans to sightsee since we were getting there earlier then planned and their service was going on. Well, that didn't happen seeing as how right off the back we got one of the vans stuck in the mud in the back of the church!! After trying for 30 minutes to get it out, and only managing to dig a huge trench behind both back tires we decided to leave the van there and work on it when we got back...since we'd already made enough noise trying.
There really aren't words to describe what you see in LA as you drive through the towns and on the highways. My first reaction was it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, and i felt guilty for this thought. But then you begin to remember it used to be beautiful, the places that look like slums now were nice developments before and you start to realize what you're seeing. And then as you get deeper into LA you see it truly is just devastation all around. There are signs of rebuilding and life, it has been 6 months since Katrina struck, but the signs of the massive power of that storm are all around. The trees are uprooted and dead all along the side of the road, trash is piled up and strewn all about, blue roofs everywhere...if there is any roof at all, buildings that are too far gone line the streets and highways sitting in shambles, and it goes on and on. The road signs bent in half, the billboards bent over, boats stuck in fields from where the water went back down, and the flood lines mark every structure there...3', 6', 9', 15', 20+'...it's unreal. We drove to New Orleans Sunday and it was a good start to our week as a reminder for why we're there. And although it's overwhelming you have to start somewhere. The impact of what we saw was huge, and it can do nothing else but begin to effect you, change you and your thinking...it's just so powerful.
Oh and the van....we got back and got it out. The church called us while we were in New Orleans once their service let out and Michelle said to me on the phone "so you all are here.........and you left a present for us in the back yard" =) ....oops. But we got it taken care of, got unloaded, got our cots set up, got showered and fed and started meeting the staff.

Slidell:: Time to Leave

I’m leaving for Slidell, LA this afternoon. It’s been in the planning for months and it’s finally here. Oh the joy of spending 20 hours in a van…it has come upon me! But seriously, I’m so ready to be there. I feel like God has been preparing me for this last week to leave here and go. I fear leaving for one main reason, but I have to trust God in that. I need a break, from the drama of life, from the hecticness of NoVa, from the circumstances that have been draining the life from me…I need this trip. It’s weird to say that b/c most would say these people are in need of my time and labor to help them rebuild. And that I will do but I am in great need of something to take all my time and energy off current situations…God’s timing is perfect. I am hopeful I’ll be able to go and main a real difference in the lives of these people, be used by God however He wills and begin/deepen relationship. It’s been a pretty good week leading up to this trip…I’ve gotten quality time with my friends and I must leave the rest in God’s hands. Once I return I’ll do a series of posts on the trip so stay tuned.