[Words]

I hope you all know by now that I speak from my heart and I write with the hope that you might learn something, be encouraged or exhorted. Lately I've been considering the subject of “words”. Words can bring joy, or crush. They can heal or wound. They can not be taken back, hurtful words hang in the air, loving words replay in our heads often…but then again, so do the hurtful ones. Our words and actions are our main tools to convey what is in our heart, what we're feeling or thinking. Do our words match our actions? Which is the real deal if they don't? What we ‘say' or what we ‘do'? Bottom line, words are important…so why don't we act like it?
Recently I used my words poorly and I hurt someone in a way I don't think I have before. I was hurt and I acted rashly with my words. And it wasn't even really intentional, but I didn't take the time to stop and examine what it was I was trying to say and think how I should say it. I walked away and I couldn't stop thinking about the power of words. The questions and statements I just made have rolled around in my head all week. So I decided to take a look at the subject. And here is what I found.

First I looked at how often ‘words' come up as a subject in various area. This will be a little lengthily but in the end I hope you find it useful and take the time to read on.

The world sees the importance of words. Have you ever thought about all the songs that talk about words:
“More than words ”, “It's only words , and words are all i have”, “If only words could explain”, “But I guess those were words , without meaning. You said I could trust you, you said all was fine, you said that you spoke the truth. But I guess those were words , without meaning”, “ Words don't come easy”, “Say the Words ”

We ourselves convey the weight of words with statements like:
“I'm at a loss for words ”, “In other words ”, “ Words fail me”, “There are no words ”, “Your words hurt”, “Thank you for your kind words ”, “Could I have a word ?”.

And God's Word most certainly speaks of words often…ours and Gods:
“Therefore encourage one another with these words .” 1 Thes. 4:18
“Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me.” 2 Timothy 1:13
“The words of the LORD are pure words , like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times.” Psalm 12:6
(Remember, the number 7 is a symbol of perfection in the Bible. So our Lords words are perfect.)
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD.” Psalm 19:14
“Who whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words like arrows” Psalm 64:3
“I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in Your words .” Psalm 119:147
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24

So if ‘words' are so serious, if they are a main form of communication, if they are this powerful…why don't we choose ours more carefully? Why don't we use more caution? Why do we continue to use them to hurt others? I have come to a recent conclusion that we ought to be more aware of what our words are communicating to the hearer. When someone asks for help, even if we're not able at that moment to help we should graciously let them know we'd love to but can't. If someone is hurting we should use our words to bring healing to their heart. If someone is in sin we need to lovingly use our words to bring them back to Christ. We need to see our words as a vital tool, and skillfully use that tool for God's glory and our holiness.

Next, words are extremely important but let's not forget about actions. We need to make sure our words match our actions. The Bible says “out of the heart the mouth speaks” but let me throw something out there for you to chew on. There is such a thing as ‘hallow words'. You know the feeling you get when someone says something and the words sound empty or fake. Although the mouth can/does speak what's in the heart, I believe we often times try to reverse this thought and think it works. “If I say something it will become true in my heart.” Because we know out of the heart the mouth speaks it is not surprising we try to speak certain words in hope we can convince our hearts to be a different way. Hate to break it to you but not so much does this work. We can not live one way and say it's another way, or think words will negate our actions. Our actions can be a good indicator of something we're trying to run from, and we can be downright blind to these areas at times. Helpful hint, seek others and see what they see. And please be thoughtful, and prayerful, about who you seek to speak into your life. There are many things that can keep us from seeing our own actions and heart but that's a whole other article! We need to have a correct view of our actions though so we are sure that our words line up with them. It is extremely frustrating to have someone say one thing and do another. Again, which is the real deal? Words don't control our actions but they should line up with them.
Here's a word picture (there's another form of words!). You're standing looking at a plot of green grass. People have told you it's green, and encouraged you to embrace it as green. But you stand there and state firmly it's pink! You say it, scream it, try to convince those around you, tell the grass itself it's pink, you might even spray paint it pink. Is it pink?? Nope. It's still green. And at the first rain it will wash away that pink spray paint. Although, I do believe the world would be very interesting if all the grass was pink! But God must have known what's best ;)

Okay. So words are powerful. They hurt, heal, encourage, exhort. They, along with actions, are our main form of communication. Our words need to match our actions. We need to be honest about our actions. Words are vitally important. Take a moment and think…what do your words convey?

Do those at work know you're a believer. Do your words point people to Christ. Do you cringe at words from people that are unlovely or not pleasing to God?
Do you respond to people in love?
Do your words match your actions? Do you have an honest view of your actions?

This is a deep subject and words are powerful. I believe God makes it clear the importance of words, I believe we ‘know' how important they and our actions are. And I hope you take the time to ponder these questions, and look back through those verses, and examine your own life. Evaluate it before God with a heart to speak ‘pure words' as our Lord did. And although we can't take our words back, we can cover them with new loving ones. If you've hurt someone, or done a poor job using your words make today the day you change that. USE wherever you are to ask God to search your heart, soul and mind and seek His strength to accomplish whatever He shows you.

I'm going to leave you with one last thing. I love country music. I love music of all kinds but I'll leave you with a song that I think shows how powerful words are. I hope and pray you take these words in this article to heart and that GOD uses them in your life for His glory. It is all about Him.

Sherrié Austin, “ Words”
Words, they don't mean nothing
So tell me why they hurt so much
I meant to tell you something
It was on the tip of my tongue

Words rush by so quickly
And it's too late to take them back
I tried to say i'm sorry
And that goodbye was just an act

Words come back to haunt you
Yeah, they just keep hanging around
I still can hear the echo
I still can hear their angry sound

Words can say i love you
Oh, words can break a heart

But all my words got in the way
And all the things i meant to say
Were not the things you heard
Oh, why'd you have to go
And take me at my word

[Relational]

I wrote this months ago for a newsletter but stumbled accross it this morning and thought i'd share it...

Relational By Nature
[july.18.2005]
This past weekend I was incredibly blessed to get away to a river house with some of my closest friends and I found myself pondering many things while away. The entire weekend was a huge blessing to me as I am extremely relational and enjoy time with friends and those I care about. But as I thought about this weekend I pondered why it was such a great time...was it the fun... the location... the activities?? No, it was the people. It was the girls sitting out on the deck yesterday morning, coffee in hand, talking about the things the Lord is doing in our lives. It was the time on the boat where we were free to be ourselves, learn new things, relax and laugh together. It was friends putting aside all the million things we all probably "needed" to get done during the weekend to get away and spend time together. It was the heart of a friend willing to spend his weekend making ours fun. It was the boys on the dock hanging out while the girls cooked in the kitchen, talking about who we are becoming in Christ as His daughters. That is what made it special, that is what made it memorable, that is what impacted me.
I read in one of my favorite books that there are "individuals living quiet, lonely lives infected by their fear of rejection and their memories of the last time they tried. They choose not to be touched at all rather than risk being hurt again." I think we all have the possibility of becoming like this but it is not how God made us...this is not His desire. He desires us to love one another...even when it's a risk; care for one another... even when it's inconvenient; challenge one another...even when it's hard; and reach out for help...even when we're afraid. So I challenge you. How do you spend your time? Are you so wrapped up in work and all the "must do's" that you are missing the quality of life that God's desires to give us. And know it's not just time "with" people but how you spend that time. Sharing what I'm learning in my walk with God and hearing where my friends are is amazing. Being real with one another about struggles, failings and fears and exhorting one another to press hard into Jesus is life changing. These are the moments life should be made of...I mean isn't this exactly what God calls us to do (1 Thes 5:11)? So why is it we don't? Spending time with those He's placed in our lives in true community can be the most recharging thing we can do with our time.
Life is most certainly not always easy. God's word tells us we'll have to strive, run, endure and persevere (Rom 12:12; 1 Pet 2:20) but we don't have to do it alone. Not only is our Savior walking the road with us, He is placing individuals along our path to also walk with us, fight with us and fight for us. I know I for one am thankful for each of the people I spent my weekend with (and those who couldn't make it) and the unique place each of them holds in my life. I am thankful I took the risk with them...and am thankful they took the risk with me.

[Vision]

[Here is an article I wrote for our church newsletter]

WHAT DO YOU SEE
A person once gave an illustration that I'll try to put into words . Picture a person with their hand over their face trying to walk around. Their vision is obstructed and they can't clearly see where they're going. Yet many people come up to this individual and give them speeches on correct vision and what it is like to see clearly. These people talk about how glasses can correct vision. They talk about how the eyes work but the person still has obstructed vision. You see, although these people may mean well they aren't really helping this person remove the obstruction that is blocking their vision, they're just talking about clear vision. So often times in life we have an obstruction in our vision that is affecting the way we are acting and the direction we are taking. We might try to fix ‘external things' or listen to sermons on clarity. We may completely deny we have an obstruction because we are afraid to see things as they really are or maybe we're just comfortable with our obstruction and current view of life. But the bottom line is we're going to wander around, bumping into things, until we realize what that thing is obstructing our vision and work to remove it.

So let's ask a few questions. Is the obstruction fear? Is it a focus on self? Is it an idol? Do you realize that an idol is ANYTHING that takes the functional place of God in our lives? We may have a ‘professed' God but it's our functional god that is actually ruling us…the hand over our face. What is it that is obstructing our vision and our God ordained purpose? “Why” questions are always good to ask as they should reveal the sin so we can search out God's answer. It might look something like this: we know there is “a hand” over our faces and we begin to try to figure out what the obstruction is and ask:

• “Why” am I afraid of seeing this situation/life as it is? Why am I constantly denying the truth? Perhaps I don't trust God. Perhaps my faith is weak. Perhaps I'm afraid. Start there and confess your fear to God and ask HIM to guide you. Tell Him you “know that He can do all things and no purpose of His will be thwarted.” (Job 42:2)

• “Why” am I clinging to this obstruction in my vision? Perhaps I'm allowing a functional god to rule my heart and life such as work, reputation, or success. Perhaps I profess the one true God but live for another god. Remember the sin is not in loving something, but that we love it too much. It is not wrong to love someone, a job, a pursuit or passion. But it is wrong to love anyone or anything more than God. Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you. (Matt 6:33)

• “Why” am I behaving this (fill in the blank) way? What don't I believe about God?

God does not want us to walk around with “a hand over our face”. He wants to change our heart but that is the key…changing our heart. We many times work on behavior (fruit) and ignore the heart issues (root) like fear, anxiety, self centeredness, ect. If you ask God to search your heart, and seek to make a lasting change, it will affect your behavior and you will find the hand comes down and you can see clearly. Now this is hard. For me lately I have had to ask God “why” am I reacting the way I am to certain life issues?? I asked those around me to begin praying for me and some of my friends exhorted and challenged me concerning their insights into it. The result? Our always faithful God has been teaching and speaking to me about living for the approval of man (people), or in fear of 'man', and reminding me to only live for God's approval… because anything else is a functional god. And although it's hard when someone accuses you of something, or is unsupportive, or walks away, GOD doesn't walk away and right now, in the good times or bad, HE is on the throne. This is the truth I must root my heart in so my behavior (fruit) is producing patience, trust, faith and hope…not fear, running, despair or worry. With my heart rooted in this I see clearly…as soon as I begin to fear and despair that hand creeps upward. Now this is me…where are you?