[OneYear]

It's been one year since Uncle Tim went home to be with Jesus. It feels like yesterday. I like to remember my family as we were. Like here in this picture. Uncle Tim holding Kiki, my mom, Uncle Jimmy, me with Aunt Liz, and T-bo when he was shorter than me! I miss those times. I don't want to remember things as they were when Uncle Tim was battling, although he was amaizng through it, but I want to remember my family when we were all together and so happy. I cherish those memories. And I miss Uncle Tim so very very deeply.

[July4th]

(a few of MANY pictures that were on my camera after I left it at my uncle tim's one holiday... Christmas I think... he was hilarious)

It's fourth of July, one of my favorite holidays, but the person who made it one of my favorites isn't here anymore - my Uncle Tim. I remember how excited I'd be for the 4th growing up, seriously, it was like Christmas for us kids. For days before I'd have butterflies just imagining how awesome it would be. We have family traditions you see for the 4th - first, my cousin (she was always like my little sister) kiki and I would pick out our most red/white/blue outfits we had and paint our nails in some crazy combination of those colors. Stars, stripes, polka dots... you name it. Sometimes there was face paint & hair color involved too ;) Next we'd bbq out, and play bball all day....all the while waiting to leave for the fireworks. Uncle Tim always mapped out some GREAT place to watch, usually so close we'd get burned by falling debris ;), and had the plan of attack to avoid traffic all worked out. We'd park forever away so we wouldn't sit in traffic afterwards and walk to the football stadium with frisbees, sodas and blankets in hand. I could go ON and ON but I won't... the day was simply magical (if I believed in magic) for us kids. And then, the best part of the night was at the end, the car ride home. It involved a station wagon with the back seats folding down with 4 (or 5 at the end with little Gabe) kids rolling all over the back as he drove like a crazy person down the back streets of our neighborhood. Zigging and zagging all the while we were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe being tossed to and fro in the back. We'd get home and get out of the car to my mom and aunt cracking up looking at us walk like we'd just been on the tea cups at disney world... and looking like it too! As we got older traditions changed... my Uncle Bob did his own BBQ with fireworks and we joined. But it was NOT the 4th if I wasn't with Uncle Tim and the kids. And this year... I won't be with him... or his kids. So it is a bittersweet day, full of memories made and new ones to be made I'm sure. We'll still BBQ and Uncle Bob will still try his hardest to set all the houses on fire in the neighborhood with his crazy fireworks. I'm in all red/white/blue with crazy nails and blue streaks in my hair, but kiki isn't with me. I have years of joy to ponder and an incredible family waiting just a little ways down the road for me. Yet all day, every second, i will want to cry b/c I miss my Uncle Tim so deeply. There have been 4th of July's I dared go somewhere else to see friends... and the year I did it was a mess and I called him crying (long story) and I remember him saying "baby, get in your car and come back... come back baby and it'll all be okay". And it was, I went back and he was still there, arms open to make everything better. But today, as much as I will yearn for those open arms they won't be there... but he will be on my mind every second. I will laugh and play and enjoy the AMAZING family I have, my cousin Chris is here which makes me so happy, but it will be bittersweet indeed.

I love you uncle tim.