[Fight]

I don't want to fight for joy tonight. We're doing a John Piper series at the ministry I co-lead and it's called "When I don't desire God, the fight for joy". Boy is it a FIGHT tonight. But i'm not fighting too well right now.

Living what we're teaching our flock...it's hard. Maybe I should do a series on baking cookies...i like cookies...just not chocolate ones.

[Irish]

[JrodsBD]

[moreLineDancing]

I really lovvvve dancing. More shots of our trips out :)

[Reactions]

I need to learn to work on my reactions. Over the past week i've been dealt some tough cards and i must say...i don't have a very good poker face. I don't take time to ponder my options and make the best of it. I'm afraid to fold. I need to work on my reactions.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Someone hurting me doesn't mean i should/can cold shoulder them...and honestly i don't really even want to do that, i just don't know what else to do. I don't want to seem whiney if i'm hurt, or a kill-joy if i need to express something. Yet avoiding it just turns me into a volcano ready to explode.

There are people I wanted to care about my trip...they didn't. There are people who I want to make me feel like a valuable part of their life...they don't. There are days i need a break from the stress of my job...it doesn't come. There are circumstances out of my control I so want to see resolved...but they aren't. So all i can do is respond, react and express myself. Easier said then done. So much to learn...and so much i'm still processing from my trip. Maybe it's all about figuring out how to live what I learned.

I do love my friends here...country line dancing, hanging out, going to church together, going downtown to play on the weekends...i love it all. But right now all that just seems to be distractions from so much else going on in my life. It's like "go play"/ back to reality....and sometimes reality follows me when i go play. I L-O-V-E the blessings God gives me...i LOVE to smile, enjoy life, enjoy God and BE who HE created me to be. I guess maybe that's it....I want other people to have this same mindset. Value each other (back to the beginning of this paragraph), pursue God, pursue joy...and when they don't my reactions kick in...and there i struggle. Back to my reactions. Oh how much I have to learn....

[HappyGirl]

Another line dancing trip. This time we took Drew, Jrod and a friend.

Slidell:: The journey ends

It was a wonderful trip.
God's power
joy
love
bonding
experiences
learning
new people
hearts
healing
hurting
hoping
growing
changing

I'll never be the same. I love the 19 other people I went with so much. Every minute was incredible. I learned amazing skills too...i love power tools and i LOVE miter saws!! The people in LA taught me more then words can express. You have to go to know it. I have 2700 pictures, memories to last a lifetime and a plan to go back...next fall...i will go back.

I'm having a hard time adjusting back into life where i live. I react differently, see things differently, have a bigger view of God's power and sovereignty, a new sense of true joy, a longing for hope and so few understand...19 others to be exact. I sit in my house and it doesn't feel like home right now. I just want to go back. I felt like I was really making a difference, helping change take place. I was able to share with people who were thirsty for God. I was poured into by the most amazing individuals who truly live "comfort those with the comfort that you have received". I know i'll get back to life...though i'll be so different...but today isn't that day.

Slidell:: A continuing journey

This week has flown by. We've stayed so busy and I can't believe we're wrapping it up. I've begun to wonder what it will be like to get back "home" although this place and these people have become home to me this week. On a lighter note...i've added nail gun and miter saw to my list of favorite tools! I now can do base boards and quarter round!! Oh how fun it is to learn all this. I came here to bring relief to these people and am walking away with new skills, new insights, new friends and depth to existing relationships and a fresh view of God's great power. Again, i'm in awe. But I do love these power tools!! Being the only girl back at the miter saw with all the guys is so fun and i love making people laugh which i certainly am. As one guy said "only you would be behind a miter saw wearing a pink tank top that says I Need A Hug". Yeppers, that's meeee. These guys are amazing to take the time to teach all of us their knowledge and skills...i'm so thankful and having SO MUCH FUN. How cool is it that i can put up a walll, mud the wall, paint the wall and finish it with base boards?? I'll tell you....wayyyyyy cool! And to see this houses coming together is awesome. We've finished the first house and it got painted Friday and the second house is so close to being livable...just some kitchen and bathroom work to be done. Although, it is already being lived in we found out and i must say, this story impacted me most this week. I'll write about Steven in a separate post...he deserves you full attention. Before we left we visited the 9th Ward and it's heart breaking. As we drove over the bridge into the community the conversations in the van just began to trail off. It's a shock to your system to see houses 100 yards from their foundation, houses on cars or on fences, houses all smashed together, houses blocking roads. The other van pulled up next to us at one point as we were driving through the community and said "we'll just go take a right on that street and catch up with you all" and our driver said "sorry man, you can't.....there are houses blocking that road". When have you ever said that? Imagine SEEING that. People standing in front of piles of rubble that used to be houses looking for anything to salvage before they're bulldozed. It'll kick you in the gut. As we drove off i could do nothing else but marvel at God's power once again (How Great Is Our God). Houses up and moved like that, the power of that storm...and it's a drop in the bucket of His power. It'll change you, it can do nothing else but that. I can feel it now. I've wondered if i'd feel different coming home, i mean you always feel different after a missions trip but everyone is saying this is powerful beyond anything else. And i couldn't agree more. On our way out we traveled back into New Orleans (around the corner from the 9th ward) to walk around now that Mardi Gras is over. And i have to say...we didn't quite mean to end up on Bourbon Street but did to get where we were going for lunch and as my friend said "it's just a joke". Seriously it's vile. I had to keep saying to the guys around me: "look to the right, look down, look at me just look at me"...they couldn't look anywhere without seeing vile images in the windows. It smelled like stale beer and throw up. It's just a place where people use it as an excuse to act as immoral as they can. And it's so sad. I was so impressed by the men in my group though...never a fight as we told them to look down or not look at certain places...in fact they were asking to get off the street as quickly as possible b/c it was "making them sick". I love these guys. NOW...outside this, New Orleans is beautiful. People who say they 'hate new orleans' because of Bourbon Street must also hate DC b/c of it's filth and every other city like it. Because the bottom line is it is a beautiful city, with beautiful structures and wonderful traditions. We ate at Cafe De Monde and had Cafe Ole and Beignets. We walked around their cite and saw the sites, the musicians on every corner, the guy playing electric guitar with his hands, and bass with his feet!! The horse and carriages everywhere...the soft sound of hooves clicking around you. The rhythm of music filling the air. It was almost 80 and sunny and a wonderful way to end our trip. We ate in a little shop where all the workers lost their homes but they were just enjoying meeting the new people that came into their shop and working hard so they could rebuild. What a pleasure to meet these people. And what's awesome...they see the churches making a difference. They aren't shocked when you tell them you're a ministry team there, they meet them all the time and are forever grateful. That's God's body working.

Slidell:: Team "Get 'er Done"

This continues to be one of the most memorable experiences of my life. I have begun to gush about the experiences, people, sites, jobs, conversations, bonding, worship....everything.
Tuesday night we had a bonfire and sat around it having a time of devotion and worship. Our theme song has become "How Great Is Our God". You can do nothing else as you look around at what this storm did and see how great God's power is, and you can do nothing else as you look around and see God's healing hand and say how great is our God.
Our team is bonding so beautifully. We gather each AM for a time of devotion and each evening for a time of worship, sharing and then usually games. The conversations you see taking place all around during the day at the job sites or in the evenings as we do dishes and make lunches....it's awesome. The jokes that have begun...the air is filling with laughter and joy. We are journeying together and God is the center. Old friends, new friends, deeper friendships, friendships beginning...it's everywhere. And i'm learning what leading really feels like when you're supported. These people all jump in and help. They step up where they are gifted whether it's serving by making lunches or doing dishes, whether it's helping with directions so we can travel from site to site and into different towns, whether it's as skilled carpenters leading and teaching their teams, whether it's organized the job sites, whether it's leading times of worship, it's incredible. I've never had a team like this that i've led...never. They are amazing...i'll say it again...there are no words to truly express it.
I had to take four of the girls to the airport Wednesday night who could only stay half week. The sadness on this team to send them home was great but I found such joy in that. It means we're really loving each other, bonding, sharing on a deep level and it's therefore sad to send these girls home. You learn to find the 'good' in all things being down here...it's what these people teach not by their words but by their every action. I'm not sure i would have seen the girls leaving in this light, found the good side of it before. I might have just sulked, cried and asked God why they couldn't stay the whole time...but instead i've found joy in the time they were here and great blessing in the fact my team is so sad to see them go. God is moving, God is working.
On the way to the airport i saw more devastation though. I traveled over to Mississippi where they aren't getting the same attention as LA/New Orleans. It was sad to see towns that are even less 'cleaned up' and attended to then where we are. It throws me at God's throne crying out to Him for the hearts of these people. Oh that they may find Him through and in this storm.